


The Troubled Life Of Tony Stark

by pulangaraw



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-10
Updated: 2012-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's suit gets stolen and the trail leads to a small town called Haven. It's not as idyllic as people would make you believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Troubled Life Of Tony Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Torra mentioned something about Avengers and Haven ([here](http://wihluta.livejournal.com/431294.html?thread=2809278#t2809278)) and my brain kinda ran away with it and it's now 6k+ words later.  
> She also helped me work out the kinks in the story (it's totally her fault that it makes sense at all!) and gave me some great lines and did a beta job _and_ came up with the title... so really, this should be her fic. She's the best kind of Enabler I could wish for! *smishes*

“Tony? Tony! Are you alright?” Someone was shaking Tony’s shoulder and it made his head hurt.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled and sat up. He squinted around and eventually focused on Steve. “What happened?”

Steve shook his head and helped him up. “Happy called us for help. Apparently someone knocked you two out when you left the restaurant and... well...”

Tony glared. “Well what?”

“They stole your armour, Tony.”

“The suit? They _stole_ the Iron Man?” Tony’s head really hurt.

“The suitcase suit, I’m afraid.” Steve patted his shoulder soothingly. “But we’ll find them.”

“Of course I’ll find them,” Tony snapped, “I’ll find them and then I will rip them a new one, make them wish they had never even dreamed of crossing paths with me. I will...”

He kept ranting all the way back to Stark Mansion. Once there he was too busy tracking the assholes who’d stolen his suit to rant much. Luckily he’d put a tracker into the suit in case something just like this happened. Those punks wouldn’t even know what hit them.

\--------------

“So this place-,” Steve started, clutching the door-handle tightly as Tony took yet another turn at too much speed.

“Haven,” Tony muttered between clenched teeth. “Some provincial, stinking dung heap of a coastal town. Probably all inbred and brain-dead.”

Steve couldn’t quite suppress a smile. “They can’t be that stupid if one of them managed to steal your suit.”

“Are you making fun of me? Steve Rogers, you’re an asshole. Those morons could be planning on taking over the world with my suit at this very moment and you choose to make fun of me.”

Steve smiled indulgently, then asked in a more serious tone, “I thought the suit wouldn’t work without the arc reactor?”

“It doesn’t work without a power source. What if they somehow got their hands on a power source? Who knows who else my father shared his blue prints with. Not to mention AIM, Hammer-crap, or any of the _hundred other_ energy-based villains we face week after week. What do I know?!” Tony waved his hands through the air and Steve firmly put them back on the steering wheel.

“I’m sure it’ll all turn out alright, Tony. And if we can’t deal with them by ourselves, we’ll just call the rest of the Avengers.”

Tony took a deep breath. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. They’d already agreed on that plan, back at Stark Mansion after Tony had pinpointed the location of the suit. Fury had insisted that it was better not to storm a small town with the whole team just to get one stolen suit back. Tony might still be a little mad at him about the ‘just a suit’, but he’d been adamant. Besides, him and Steve were going to deal with it just fine. It was all going to be fine.

A few minutes later they passed the sign that proclaimed they were now entering the town of Haven, population 25,121.Tony gave it the finger.

He drove on for a couple hundred meters before Steve made a strange sound next to him. Tony glanced over and immediately hit the brakes. Something was wrong. Something was definitely and horribly wrong with Steve.

Steve was... shrinking. His outline was all blurry and his face a mask of pain and confusion and his body was just falling in on itself until... it all stopped. The whole thing hadn’t taken more than a few seconds.

Steve was still there, in the passenger seat, but he looked different. He was thin and breathing hard; short, wheezing breaths that sounded like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. He was staring at himself, then up at Tony with horror in his eyes.

“Steve?” Tony asked, voice rough with shock, “Are you...?”

He wasn’t sure if he should touch Steve, if he’d maybe make it worse and then realization hit him. He’d seen Steve like this before. Only then it had been on photographs. Old photographs in Steve’s file and his family album and this... this was Steve from before. Steve when he’d just been a skinny kid from Brooklyn desperately trying to get into an army that didn’t want him.

And that was just wrong.

Tony turned the car around, skidding a little when he hit the roadside with his back-wheels and hit the pedal. “Steve, hang on. I’m getting you out of here.”

He made it for about five hundred meters before Steve gave a cry of pain and slumped forward in the seat. “Stop. Tony,” he gasped.

Tony stopped. He stared at Steve, twisted in pain and looking all wrong. “Motherfucking shit,” he muttered. He reversed gears and drove backwards towards the town. The closer they got to the place where Tony had first stopped the less Steve seemed to be hurting. Tony swore again.

He stopped the car at the side of the road, out of the way of any passing traffic. “I’m going to call S.H.I.E.L.D., let them know something is wrong.”

He got as far as punching the connect-button when there was a flash of blinding white light from somewhere near the harbour. Tony blinked the spots from his eyes. “What the hell was that?”

Steve shook his head. Tony checked his phone. It wasn’t working. He frowned at it. “Steve, you got your cellphone on you?”

Steve handed it to him. It wasn’t working either.

“Landline,” Steve suggested before Tony could decide whether it was worth taking the thing apart, and Tony started the car again.

He managed to drive on and was half proud of himself for definitely not freaking out about whatever had just happened. Steve just sat there and Tony hit the pedal and sped down the town’s main road, not even sure where he was going.

Until he saw the Iron Man down at the harbour, hit the breaks and was out of the car before he could even think about it.

\--------------

His suit was standing near the harbour, the person - _thief_ \- wearing it tottered around a little, looking down at his hands, then tugged at the faceplate, pulling it up with a screech of metal. Tony winced while speeding towards him.

“You fucking asshole!” Tony lunged at the guy, not even caring that he was currently encased in the Iron Man suit. “You motherfucking thief and-”

A strong hand grabbed him around the arm and pulled him short. In his - totally justified - rage Tony hadn’t even noticed the two people standing near the guy.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” A man’s voice said from behind him.

“Oh yeah? And who are you to tell me what to do?” Tony rounded on the other man.

“Nathan Wuornos, Chief of Haven Police. And you are?”

“Police? That’s good. I’m Tony Stark and this punk there stole my suit.” Tony pointed at the asshole in question. “See that, that’s my suit, the Iron man suit and it’s mine. I made it and I want it back.”

The police chief remained surprisingly calm. “We’ll see about that.”

The guy in the suit was staring at the ripped-off face-plate in his hands, a confused look on his face.

Tony was about to tell him what he though of a guy who first stole his property and then vandalised it, when Steve caught up with them. He was pale and out of breath. “Tony,” he said, eyes on the guy in the suit. “You found him.”

“And you are?” Wuornos asked.

Steve turned his attention to him. “I’m Steve Rogers, I’m...” he paused awkwardly, “... a friend of Tony’s.”

Shit, Tony thought. He’d been about to say ‘Captain America’, Tony would swear on this, and the fact that he hadn’t made Tony’s chest ache. This wasn’t right.

“Nathan Wuornos, Chief of Police,” Wuornos introduced himself to Steve. “You can call me Nathan.” He gestured at the woman at his side. “This is my partner, Agent Parker.”

“Why don’t we all go back to the station and sort this out there. Duke, that includes you,” Parker said, the last aimed at the guy in Tony’s suit. Parker was short, blonde and pretty in a no-nonsense kind of way. Under different circumstances Tony would have been very pleased to meet her, now she was just another obstacle.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Nathan agreed. He looked at Tony expectantly. Steve gently touched Tony’s arm.

“Fine. But he’s not leaving my sight,” Tony pointed at Suit-Thief.

“He’ll ride on the back of the truck,” Nathan said and cut off any complaints from the other guy with a wave of his hand and a glare. Clearly there was more going on here than he was letting on.

\--------------

Nathan sat down behind his desk and waved the rest of them into chairs around his office.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning, Mr Stark.”

Which was exactly what Tony did. With a detailed description of the lump on his head and the pain of the resulting headache. The suit-thief - who’s name was apparently Duke Crocker and who, Tony was about 99% sure, was shagging the chief on the side - sat sullenly on the bench to the side. Parker was sitting next to him and gave him the stink-eye every time he opened his mouth to interrupt Tony during his account. Tony might have been just a little bit grateful.

Tony got as far as their arrival in Haven when he stopped himself short. He glanced over at Steve. He wasn’t quite sure how Steve wanted to handle this next part. They really should maybe talk to someone about what had happened, because it wasn’t right and maybe those people knew something they didn’t know. Tony couldn’t shake the feeling that something about this town was distinctly off.

“Mr. Stark?” Nathan prompted when the pause stretched on for too long.

Steve cleared his throat. “Well, this next part is slightly strange.”

Nathan shared a glance with his partner and Tony’s suspicions about this whole damn town rose to roughly paranoid levels.

“You see, I don’t usually, I mean I’m...” Steve continued, then stopped again.

“He’s usually a lot more muscly and-,” Tony took over.

"Muscly?” Steve interrupted.

Tony smirked, "You want to explain it better, Steve?”

Steve rolled his eyes.

Nathan nodded slowly, tapping his pen on his paper. "Muscly...is that hyphenated?"

Parker leaned over to look at his notes, "I think it is..."

"Anyway," Tony continued with a cough.

Steve said, “I’m Captain America.”

Three sets of eyebrows rose.

“You’re what?” Duke said, the first thing that had come out of his mouth so far. Tony levelled another glare at him.

“You don’t look like Captain America,” Duke continued, undaunted. Maybe Tony needed work on his glare.

“That’s exactly the point. As soon as we entered the town, he just shrunk. Back to the way he was before the... ...hum. Well, let's just call it 'a procedure' and leave it at that, okay? You really don't have the clearance for anything else it might be called,” Tony explained. He didn’t feel at all guilty about their exasperated expressions.

“Troubles?” Nathan muttered under his breath. His partner shrugged.

“Something we should know about?” Steve asked.

Nathan and Parker exchanged a look, before Parker shrugged and made an ‘after you’ gesture. Nathan sighed.

“Maybe I should explain,” Nathan said and did just that.

\--------------

“Wow, this is fucked up, right?” Tony whispered to Steve twenty minutes later while cradling a cup of coffee near the police station’s coffeemaker.

“Pretty much, yeah. What are we going to do about it?”

“Do? We’re not doing anything about it. Not our problem, remember? As soon as I get my suit back we’ll be out of here and you... you’ll just go back to normal. That’s the plan.”

“What if it doesn’t work. What if this,” Steve gestured at himself, “is permanent?”

“It’s not permanent,” Tony said with conviction, because it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. If it was, then Steve wouldn’t be able to... no. Just, No. It didn’t even bear thinking about.

“Right,” Steve said and his eyes were too big in his suddenly too narrow face. Tony put a hand on his shoulder - too low, too thin - and said cheerfully, “Let’s go get my damn suit back.”

Which turned out to be a lot harder than expected.

\--------------

“Duke, why exactly did you think it was a good idea to steal Mr Stark’s Iron Man suit?” Nathan asked dryly.

Duke pulled a face. “I’m not sure. It seemed like a good idea at the time?”

“Excuse me?” Tony said at the same time as Nathan’s stern, “Duke.”

Duke shrugged. “I don’t really remember much of it. I mean, I remember I was at the harbour last night, drinking with some of the guys... uh, I mean, Lori was there too, with Billy Brand and Stu.”

“And?” Parker said when Duke paused.

“There was a fight, nothing major, just your average bar fight, you know.” Duke waved a hand meaningfully. “And me and Billy were getting Lori out and we kinda tripped and stumbled and... I think we knocked our heads together or something. Anyway, after that things get a little muddy until this morning when I was back on the boat and had that suitcase.” Duke finished. He scratched his chin and looked at them all with big eyes. Did he really think anyone was buying the innocent-routine? Tony rolled his eyes.

Parker and Nathan shared a glance.

“Lori is-” Nathan started and Parker nodded.

“Electric power,” Parker said quietly. “And Billy?”

Nathan nodded, “Troubled. Though I’m not sure what kind.”

“Great,” Tony interrupted. “So what you’re saying is that your buddy here head-bumped with two of your freaks and what - was brainwashed to come after me and steal my suit?”

Nathan shrugged. “It’s possible.”

“How did he know where to find you?” Steve asked.

“Twitter.” Tony said acidly. “Worse than paparazzi.”

“But why is the suit even working on him? Didn’t you say it needs a power source?” Steve said.

Everyone turned and looked at Duke. He held out his hands. “How the hell should I know? All I did was open the damn suitcase this morning and it just... flashed and wandered up me.”

Tony stepped closer and peered at the suit, at the small window that usually showed the glow of the arc reactor. He turned to Parker. “You said something about electric power?”

Parker nodded. “Lori, her Trouble lets her control electricity. She can somehow draw it out? We don’t really know how it works.”

Tony peered at Duke’s face. “You feeling supercharged in any way?”

“What?”

“Forget it, lets get this thing off you.” Tony said.

\--------------

“I’m _trying_ ,” Duke snapped and pulled again at the lever. “It’s stuck.”

“You’re doing it wrong, then. Let me-,” Tony stepped closer and reached for the off-switch himself. “There, that should do it.”

Only it didn’t. The suit made a strange crunching noise and Duke *umpfh*-ed and nothing happened.

“You broke it.” Tony glared.

“I didn’t break it, I just put it on and now it won’t come off. Maybe you built it wrong,” Duke argued.

“I did _not_ build it _wrong_ ,” Tony spat and Steve put a hand on his arm to try and calm him down.

Nathan Wuornos was watching from the sidelines, arms crossed over his chest. "Well, looks like your only choice is to become a superhero," he said dryly.

Duke gaped. “What?”

"You know, long hours, saving small, helpless children, animals stuck in trees. And all for free," Parker - Wuornos’ partner - chimed in gleefully.

“He’s not going to be a superhero,” Tony protested.

“Damn right, I’m not. Get this thing off me,” Duke agreed, eyes slightly wild.

Tony could see that Steve was suppressing a smile. Personally, he felt more like breaking out into hysterics. If this didn’t work, they’d have to take Duke back to the mansion to pry him out with JARVIS’ help and Tony really didn’t want any more freaks in his house. Especially not of the thieving kind. Plus, he wasn’t keen on the idea of leaving Steve behind in this hell-hole.

“Can’t you just take it apart bit by bit?” Nathan asked.

Tony rolled his eyes. “No, it doesn’t work like that. It’s a very intricate piece of machinery. If I just start yanking pieces off while it’s still powered, it could have some very nasty consequences for your friend in there.”

“Yeah, let’s not kill me yet, okay,” Duke said and took a step back.

“Or maybe we should take that chance,” Tony said just to rile him up. He really didn’t like this guy.

“Boys,” Parker interrupted sternly.

Tony deflated and shook his head. “The thing is, as long as we don’t know what’s powering the suit we can’t turn it off. And since there isn’t any visible mechanism powering it - unless Mr Thief-Man here has neglected to mention a bunch of pink Duracell bunnies stuffed down his trousers - I would have to guess that it’s been powered by whatever Trouble you bumped heads with last night.” He raised his hands in surrender. “I don’t do magic. I have no idea what to do.”

Parker said. “Maybe we could ask the brothers, they could know something about this?”

“Which brothers?” Tony asked.

\--------------

“You’re _the_ Tony Stark?” Vince Teagues squinted at Tony suspiciously.

His brother, Dave, elbowed him in the ribs. “Stop staring.”

“He could help,” Vince mumbled.

“He could also make it worse,” Dave countered.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tony asked, exasperatedly. He’d had it with secrets and Troubles and such shit.

Vince pointedly ignored the glares his brother shot him and led Tony - and by default the rest of their merry band - into the back-room of the newspaper.

“How much do you know about magical artifacts and Germanic mythology?”

“A lot more than I’d have thought a year ago,” Tony muttered.

“We actually work with Thor on a regular basis,” Steve supplied helpfully.

“Thor?” Nathan asked.

“God of Thunder. Lives in Asgard, which is actually a very technically advanced alien world. Or so we’re told,” Tony explained.

Vince and Dave shared a Very Significant Glance. Tony would have given his best coffee to know what it meant. A few minutes later he didn’t need to.

“Actually,” Vince said, “we think that might have something to do with the Troubles.”

“Alien Norse Gods?” Duke asked, incredulous.

Dave wobbled his head. “It’s been a secret among the Teagues for generations.” He made a meaningful pause that had Tony wave his hand impatiently. “We’re the guardians of an artifact that fell from the sky in 1834. We don’t know where it came from, but there are some inscriptions on it that look a bit Viking... Our ancestors tried to remove it from it’s resting place but were unsuccessful. They decided to build a shelter around it instead, until they could figure out what to do with it. The... unnatural powers didn’t appear until almost a hundred years later. We’re not entirely sure they have something to do with the artifact, but it’s the best explanation we’ve got.”

“In 1983,” Vince took over, “A man almost succeeded in removing the artifact. But the Protector stopped him.” He cast a glance over at Parker.

“What Protector?” Duke asked.

Vince pointed at Parker. “That’s the name our ancestors gave her. She appeared for the first time two days after the artifact fell. The legends say that she always appears in times of danger. Or when someone threatens the artifact. She uses a different name every time, but it’s always her.”

Both Nathan and Duke turned to stare at Parker. Tony raised his eyebrows. “You think _she’s_ some sort of protector of this stone?”

Vince nodded. “There aren’t many pictures of her, but according to the stories and the few pictures we have, every time she appears she looks the same. And she cannot remember anything about her earlier visits. No one knows where she goes in between, but we do know that in 1983 it was her who stopped James Cogan from stealing the artifact.”

“And in 1948 she made sure Howard Stark didn’t get his hands on it.” Dave added and Tony did a double take.

“My father knew about this?”

“We think she made him forget.”

“I need a drink.” Tony carded a hand through his hair. This was turning into a nightmare.

“Do you know why I changed? And why we can’t get the armour off Mr Duke?” Steve asked quietly into the pause.

The older men shrugged. “Not really. I can only assume that the artifact considers you a threat?” Dave guessed.

“Or it knows you’re it’s way out and this was its way of getting your attention,” Vince said.

“We’ll need Thor,” Steve said.

“We’ll need a landline,” Tony agreed.

\--------------

“Brísingamen,” Thor whispered and stared with awe at the small red stone.

“Care to elaborate?” Tony asked.

Thor put his story-telling face on. “Many years ago, the Queen Hel, stole Mjolnir from my father. She demanded to marry my mother, Freyja, as payment for returning the hammer to Odin.”

Tony snorted. He could just imagine Freyja’s reaction to something like this. She’d terrified the pants off him the one time he’d met her.

“Freyja was so wrathful that all the Halls of Asgard shook beneath her and the Brísingamen broke off from her neck and fell away,” Thor continued. “We have searched long and wide for it, but no one, until now, has been able to find it. It is a truly amazing coincidence.”

“A coincidence? Yeah. That's one word for it,” Duke muttered dryly. “This town just loves its 'coincidences'.”

“Do you think it has anything to do with the Troubles these people are experiencing?” Steve asked.

Thor nodded gravely. “The Brísingamen is not only a stone. It holds great powers. It is said to have a mind of its own.”

“Great, so you take the stone and its mind and all our troubles are over?” Tony clapped his hands together.

“I am afraid it is not as easy as that. There is an old Song of Wisdom about the Brísingamen in Asgard.”

Audry raised and eyebrow high and smirked, "There's a _song_?"

Tony sighed and waved a hand expansively, "They’re Asgardian. Nothing in the universe is accepted as having actually happened until they've made a drinking song out of it."

Thor cocked his head to the side. “It’s not so much a drinking song. I believe you would call it a prophesy.”

“Even better,” Tony muttered.

Thor, of course, ignored him and pressed on, raising one hand high, the other resting across his chest, striking a majestic pose as he recited.

“ _Ready in wisdom, striveth  
At Ship’s Heim Midgardian’s soil,  
Laufey's sin-sly offspring;  
The son of mothers two and one,  
Mighty in kunnr, he speaks to  
The Stone when Hefna cometh:  
I make known songs of praise._”

Nathan smirked and exchanged and eyeroll with Audry.

Duke blinked a few times, "Was that....was that the tune to _How Dry I Am_?"

Thor shifted his eyes away, not looking at anyone. "I do not know this Midgardian song you speak of."

Tony smirked, "Right."

"Can we get back to business?" Steve said.

Thor seemed relieved. “Giving what we now know of my Father's actions in the war, I think it may refer to my brother, the last true son of Laufey.”

“Which means what, exactly?” Duke asked, pulling uselessly at a part of the armour. Tony felt like hitting his head against the wall. Repeatedly.

“It means we will have to find Loki. I will have to return to Asgard to speak to my father.” Thor stood up and reached for Mjolnir.

“Which means we’re stuck here for an indeterminate amount of time,” Tony said and plonked himself onto a chair. “I sincerely hope you guys have usable Internet and coffee.”

\--------------

Steve sat down next to Tony on the old battered sofa in the front room of the Haven Herald. Tony put his tablet down and looked over at him.

“You okay?”

Steve shrugged. He looked older, tired, but some of Captain America’s calm determination still showed on his face.

“I keep thinking, what if I don’t change back.” He stared down at his hands. “I’ll just be a skinny guy with no job and no money and nowhere to go.”

“Hey now,” Tony put his arm around Steve’s shoulders. “First of all, you will change back. And even if not, you’ll still have money. They can’t take your bank accounts from you just because you’re no longer...” he trailed off. Damn, Steve Rogers not being Captain America - it just wasn’t right.

“What I mean is, you’ll still have friends, right? And....”

“And?” Steve asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

“And me,” Tony said quietly.

“You’d still have me? Even if I’m not all... _muscly_ anymore?”

Leave it to Steve to joke about something as serious as this. Tony tightened his hold on Steve’s shoulders. “I’ll always want you,” he said, voice rough.

Steve leaned into him. They sat in silence for a while.

“What about me?” Tony asked. When Steve made a questioning noise he elaborated, “What if I can’t get my suit back? I mean, yes, I still have the other suits and I could build a new one, but what if Fury would rather have... him?”

Steve sat up and turned sideways so he could look Tony in the eyes. He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “You _will_ get your suit back. And Fury would never choose someone else to be the Iron Man. Despite all appearances, he actually likes you.”

Tony snorted and Steve shook him gently. “We all do. Even Natasha. When you’re not being...” he waved a hand meaningfully.

“A dick?” Tony replied helpfully.

“Unreasonable,” Steve amended. Tony smiled.

“So, we’re good?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Emotional breakdown averted.”

Steve chuckled and leaned back into Tony’s side. “Although with that goatee, Fury might not even notice if it’s Duke and not you.”

Tony whacked Steve gently on the head. “Hey! My goatee is way better than his. You love my goatee.”

Steve just laughed.

\--------------

The ‘indeterminate amount of time’ turned out to be exactly five hours and twenty three minutes. The the sky opened above them and the Bifrost deposited a grinning Thor and a scowling Loki on the Herald’s doorstep.

Duke and Nathan, who had been off in a side room somewhere, arguing and then being suspiciously silent - don’t think Tony hadn’t noticed - rejoined them.

“So,” Nathan said, eyeing Loki suspiciously, “You’re the one to solve all our problems.”

Loki shrugged. He looked around the room. “Where are they?”

“They?” Nathan asked.

“The Brísingamen and it’s Protector.”

“Oh, back room.”

Loki stuck his nose first into the hole in the earth holding the stone, then into Audrey Parker’s face. She pulled her head back, irritated.

“Fascinating,” he said.

“You know what to do, brother?” Thor asked.

Loki looked at all of them. Tony wondered what they looked like in his eyes. Duke, uncomfortable and scared in his ill-fitting iron suit. Nathan with his arms crossed and scowling, Tony and Steve standing too close together, and the two old men, shifting and staring at the Gods who had suddenly shown up to take away their closely guarded secret.

“Do you know what you are?” Loki asked Audrey Parker.

“I don’t even know _who_ I am.”

“That is because you aren’t. You’re but a shadow of a memory of an old spell.”

“Loki,” Thor said gently.

Loki leaned against a table. “My mother told me that long time ago, when she and my father where still young, her brother, Freyr, fell in love with a woman named Gerda. She was the daughter of the then Jotun king, Gymir.”

“Is anyone else starting to lose track here?” Duke asked dryly. Tony suppressed a chuckle and reminded himself that he really didn’t like the guy.

Loki ignored him. “When Freyr proposed marriage to Gerda she laughed in his face. So he swore he would win her over. In order to do so, he stole his sister’s most precious possession, the Brísingamen. When my mother found out about it, she sent Heimdall after Freyr to get it back.”

“Wait. Is this _our_ Heimdall? Guardian Of The Bifrost Heimdall?” Tony asked.

“Yes.”

“Wow, you really don’t age like us puny humans, huh?”

“Thankfully, no. May I continue?”

Tony waved his hand in a be-my-guest gesture.

“They fought and Freyr lost. The Brísingamen was returned to my mother. She put a spell on it. If anyone else tried to take away the Brísingamen in the future, a part of my mother herself, that was encased within the stone, would appear, to ensure that no one could enjoy the powers of the stone and that the stone could not exert its powers over anyone.”

Everyone stared at Parker.

“Are you telling me that I am a part of some Norse Goddess?” Parker said faintly.

Thor nodded gravely. “You look like her when she was still young.”

“Wait a moment,” Nathan stepped forward and held up a hand. “If she’s here to prevent anyone from accessing that stone, then where do the Troubles come from?”

“The spell is old,” Loki said, “It is loosing power. The powers of Brísingamen are seeping into the earth and the air and they are changing your people. The stone has a mind of its own. It wants to be found, it wants to go back home.”

“I suddenly have the urge to quote Tolkien,” Tony said.

Steve stepped forward. “So what you are saying is that the stone somehow used the Troubles to get into Duke’s head and made him steal the suit so that Tony would bring you here?”

Loki shrugged.

“But why did _I_ change?”

“If you hadn’t changed, Tony would just have gotten the suit and left again. Changing you ensured that you would speak to these people and eventually come to ask for our help,” Thor elaborated.

“There wasn’t an easier way?” Duke asked.

Thor smiled. “The ways of magic are often elaborate and obscure.”

“Try implausible,” Tony muttered, then said louder. “How can we stop it? And, you know, make Steve go back to normal and get me my suit back?”

Loki tipped his head sideways and looked at Parker. “We have to undo my mother’s spell. When the Brísingamen is in my hands I will be able to stop it from interfering with your world.”

“No way,” Nathan stepped forward and put himself between Loki and Parker. “I’m not going to let you hurt her.”

“It’s not going to hurt anyone. I am simply turning it off.”

Duke stepped forward. “You mean she’s going to just stop existing? You can’t do that.”

“Would you rather be stuck in my suit forever?” Tony snarked. Steve glared at him and Tony had to admit that Loki’s solution sounded a bit extreme. Parker seemed like a nice person. A _real_ person.

“Is there no other solution?” Steve asked.

“Gentlemen,” Parker interrupted. “If that’s the only way, then... fine.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “If you would let me finish my explanation we could avoid all this melodrama. They don’t call me astute for nothing.”

“So there is a way?” Thor said, smiling happily.

“There’s always a way.”

\--------------

‘The Way’ involved all of them, apart from Loki, Thor and Parker, leaving the back room. A fact which both Nathan and Duke protested loudly. Tony joined in for a while, but mainly because he was curious what Loki would do. After all, ‘magic’ was just another word for ‘I don’t want to tell you what kind of technology I am using’.

Sadly, Loki was adamant and Thor had his hammer.

“How will we know if it’s working?” Duke asked once everyone had settled down somewhere.

“I don’t know,” Tony said. “Maybe when Steve goes back to being six foot seven and my armour comes off your ass?”

Duke pulled a face that could be either agreement or a sudden stomach problem. Tony hoped it was the first.

Steve suddenly groaned and shimmered around the edges.

“Steve!” Tony was at his side immediately. Steve doubled over and wheezed like he’d done in the car. Then he started growing under Tony’s hands. A crack and metallic jingle from the other side of the room told Tony that the Iron Man suit was unlocking itself.

“I can feel something,” Nathan said, wonder in his voice.

And Tony looked at Steve - normal, muscly, wonderful _Captain America_ Steve and resisted the urge to kiss him right there and then. Steve would be too embarrassed by such a show of affection in front of strangers. Tony could wait until they were in the car. He was a responsible adult after all.

Once Steve was back to normal and waving Tony off with an, “I’m fine, go get your armour,” Tony went and did just that. Whatever Loki had done, it had stopped whatever energy had been powering the Iron Man suit, and it came off Duke when he pulled the disengagement lever. It was back in suitcase form and in Tony’s hands within two minutes.

That just left Nathan prowling in front of the back door, clearly worried about his partner. Duke soon joined him.

About five minutes later Loki, Thor and Parker returned. Loki grinned smugly at them all, throwing the Brísingamen from one hand into the other with an air of nonchalance that Tony couldn’t help but admire.

“I brought her back unharmed and completely human. She’ll live her life and then die like the rest of you.” Loki said.

There was a rather embarrassing moment of group hugging among the assembled Haven inhabitants. Tony elected to check Steve over for any lingering after-effects until they were done.

“I take it the Troubles will be gone for good now as well,” Vince asked, once everyone had disentangled themselves.

Thor nodded and beamed. “My brother assures my that there will be no more strange afflictions amongst your people once the Brísingamen is returned to my mother’s possession.”

“Awesome,” Tony said and clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder, which was back to its normal, appropriate height and muscly-ness. “Let’s get out of here.”

There was a bit of shoulder clapping and then Nathan kissed Parker. Duke made a sad puppy face until Nathan kissed him too and then Parker kissed Duke and somewhere around Duke snogging Parker’s face off Tony decided he’d had enough and started kissing Steve. Steve didn’t complain.

The Teagues’ brothers invited everyone for a celebratory dinner and Tony remembered that he hadn’t actually eaten anything since last night. As long as he could keep one hand on his suit, he wasn’t averse to take the old guys up on their offer. Steve looked hungry too.

Thor and Loki excused themselves, Thor explaining that he was going to accompany Loki back to Asgard to “ensure that he does not stray from his path too much”. Tony couldn’t blame him.

They said their good-byes from Haven shortly after what turned out to be a very nice dinner at a place called The Grey Gull. Tony even felt like he’d bonded a little with Duke over a beer or two. Maybe the guy wasn’t all bad.

Eventually, Tony and Steve got back to their car.

“I am never letting Happy take me out for crab cakes ever again,” Tony said with feeling when the town sign of Haven faded into the distance in his rear mirror. Tony flipped it off one last time just for form’s sake.

“I’m not looking forward to explaining this little adventure to Fury,” Steve agreed.

“Well, we saved an entire town from going crazy and returned an important object to the Asgardians, all within a day’s work. He can’t be that mad.”

“Let’s hope.”

Steve reached over and placed his hand on Tony’s knee in an entirely non-sexual way. “Thank you for believing in me.”

“Hey, that’s what boyfriends are for, right?” Tony patted Steve’s hand.

“Right,” Steve smiled.

 

The End


End file.
